Have you ever been feeling down and a friend said to you, “Let me know if I can do anything to help” and you didn’t know what to say? This book is for this moment. Not only is it a workbook of exercises, the user will end up with reference pages and tools for communicating the needs they uncover. It’s a two-parter: this is me, and this is how you can support me being the best me.

The Me Manual is a user manual for the self. It’s a journal which illustrates guiding prompts for an individual to parse out their values, needs, longings and more- in service of their own self care and of the relationships with folks who want to show love through effective care when the time calls

the Me Manual is the journal we all need right now. this work is essential for self-knowledge and relationship building at every hard spot, loss and life transition. as the larger world overwhelms the mind, the Me Manual is there to keep us focused on individual and collective needs and values, expanding our capacity to root down ourselves and reach to others.

 A journal to know and share oneself, inviting effective loving care in community

back story

Understanding my own values and needs has been universally impactful on my life. Apart from being fed, watered and sunned, engaging my voice with music, my hands with drawing, painting and gardening, and my mind in the eccentricities of life and human behavior keep me going. In 2014, two big shifts would shape the next decade. My dad was diagnosed with dementia at the same time that my most important romantic connection was disintegrating. When my mom chose to move herself and my dad to Seattle so my sister and I could help care for him through an unknown journey ahead, my dreams of moving to New York were stalled. Through his decline, Covid and hospice, I’d never known grief like that. It was in my bones, weighing me down. In lighter moments, I’d reflect: what would have helped me feel centered, loved, soothed? It’s hard to know what will “help” when you’re IN IT. I found jotting down ideas like chocolate, a long hug or a buddy for grocery shopping helped. I had this reference for when I couldn’t get out of bed and a friend texted something like “hey, thinking of you. let me know if I can help” I could just open my notes and scan my list. What would help right now? Simply having the list meant I didn’t have to search my brain for something that might help (impossible) then talk myself out of asking for it. Though we prove time and time again that we want to help one another, our rugged individualism keeps us from asking for the help we need, increasing isolation and loneliness. THIS IS THE JOURNAL WE ALL NEED NOW.